Well, it's finally happened, after praying for it for so long. God has revealed to me ways to tell if he exists. (I guess he wants me back.)
Here's one way to tell if god is real-- If god died tomorrow, how would you know? How could you tell? Would you just wonder why he hadn't shown up for work? Would you look around in church and wonder, 'Where is he?' Would you begin to be concerned because he hadn't returned your call? Would Christian Science Monitor newspapers begin to pile up somewhere? Or would we notice after a season that tornadoes, hurricanes, and earthquakes oddly didn't happen this year? Or would they increase? Would the reports of miracle healings and speaking in tongues die down? Would those able to speak in tongues no longer be able to read and write in tongues? Would people keep sneezing incessantly even after we said 'God bless you'? Would food taste funny after we said grace? Would Christians who'd previously been empowered by god's word and holy spirit now be publicly seen to commit sins such as rape and abuse of minors, televangelism extortion, and adultery? Would the amazing inspired Sunday sermons across our land become redundant and boring and stop being so compelling and convincing? Would lightning bolts stop flashing and thunder be silenced even though some pagan takes the lord's name in vain? Would unicorns and giants suddenly become extinct? Would devoted leaders like Pat Robertson and Jerry Fallwell lose their way and start saying indefensibly stupid things? Would the bible stop making sense to us? Would god's holy word in the bible no longer be preserved and protected, now confusing everyone who reads it? Would the curse on snakes no longer be enforced so that they start walking standing up? Would childbirth no longer hurt? Would Christians no longer do miracles greater than Jesus himself did? If Christians ask, will it stop being given them? Will those Christians with the greatest faith ever no longer be able to move mountains? Will we have to put the mountains back where they were? Will people no longer be crippled by god as a punishment for sin?
Would you find that you're bitterly missing him?
For those of you who are more serious-minded and can't take me seriously here, see my epic "Day Eight" in the forums' creative works section here at exchristian.net for another consideration of the subject.
(The revelation was actually given to me in Greek and, when he noticed that I looked puzzled, he repeated it in King James English, because that's what he spake. Don't laugh. Have you ever spoken to him like I have? Even though Jesus spoke Aramaic back then-- and not Hebrew or Greek-- God still wrote the first and original New Testament in Greek. So, to convince you, I've posted the Greek original version of last night's revelation here below also. Man, it sure looks official and important in Greek. Kinda like the bible does.)
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