Hey Tribe: My starting point is literally sporadic. I runniness a immense detachment in my starting point in the same way as each and every day I put less emphasis on spirituality and learning very about my saints. I am no longer upfront to my godparents in Santeria. My madrina is around my age, actually a hook years younger but we are each in our 20s. I companion to her the limit in the same way as I grasp a lot of unite issues that make it benevolently willful to count on in a male manufacture. We would speak on the verge of every day even if on its own via copy. We would converse about spiritual matters and the saints and our love for them. It was type to grasp someone to count on in and someone to refurbish on very wisdom and hold with the saints. She has fully developed up around it all her life but has been a santera for 4 yrs. So still environmentally friendly but with drastically very hold then I. In my area offer are few relations who know about Santeria, a very infinitesimal and not eat interlock community. Not wish for in NY, Miami, Chicago, LA, etc. It is a very uptown area. Its prickly for me in the same way as I speak very imperfect Spanish and grasp misfortune understanding it else. Commonly equally I would go for a reading from her very full-grown padrino, she would be offer to interpret and make the message very decontaminate. The occupy hook of era I went to see my padrino, he seemed very angry light to grasp to illuminate for me and my consort. A since back, we were experiencing a lot of harms (connect, money, health, etc.) It was very mighty and I was convincing we had a curse or mal de ojo put on us. We had a new car, a new shelve, and I was expectant so I was unambiguous of this. My reading told me I was genuine and told me who it was who had put the mal de ojo and it complete undamaged meticulousness. It was reign that we get a clearout done. We were all set to do the clearout. We had the supplies gathered, the money, and else we had gotten chickens from a stash in the world power. But it turned out the weekend we discussions we were supposed to do the clearout my padrino went to NY. He is a very conquered man and is Forever asylum seeker between NY, NJ, VA, Miami, and Cuba. He is a very commanding santero and very competent and spineless. I'm lucky to grasp him in my life. Immobile, it's prickly to do stuff with him in the same way as of the language sentry post and else in the same way as he is literally SO conquered. Fair, my consort is ceaselessly cheesed off with me in the same way as he doesn't really grasp aspiration in this stuff and he gets angry every time I manipulation money at the botanica or on a reading. So he was very cheesed off with Padrino for not answering his invite, not delay the limpieza (whilst various attempts to loiter) and the money put towards the consulta, etc. But whilst a since I started to see his mania, whilst weeks of arduous to get ahold of my padrino I light gave up. He has my copy saved. He has an iphone. While he's an foggy man he knows how to go across his invite and view messages. I grasp copy messaged him various time, called various era, dead voicemails various era, etc. But he on its own responded back next and it was wish for we were playing invite tag. Immobile, I felt as discussions me and my consort were putting forth all the determination. Prior to this my madrina had gone away to the army (abridgment me off from her although from an scarce area), but then she got sent back home in the same way as of an smash up. She was home for frequent weeks and never told us. I dropped off a cake, wish for a not very gift at her home to accept her back. We encouraged far inaccessible on the verge of an hour away. And being then I had my baby and she hasn't infuriated to try to see her or anything apart from me and my consort tight them up. I am literally eternally the peculiar to catch a glimpse of them, eternally the one to set off a invite shout or conversation. I runniness a little bit spurned. I don't know if this is the regular type of connect in the same way as it seems to me that limit relations grasp a drastically closer connect with their padrinos. I fully got ahold of my madrina whilst weeks and I alluded to how I felt and she primitively told me that they were angry with me for steal the time to read for me and put heads together me a message that I did trifle about. Immobile, I had the supplies and was aptitude to try to set up the limpieza so that's not fair to say. As a consequence a lot of era my consort gives me a prickly time about money saying that I'm spending too drastically on the saints, holier-than-thou stuff. It actually causes fights between us. The truth is my padrinos rarely ever charge me a lot of money and steadily era do stuff for less or free. I am so hallucinating. Is it me and my consort who are at without. I light runniness wish for if my madrina allegedly loves me wish for she says then she would make an determination to shout or copy or at smallest amount hit me up on Facebook instead of me fundamental the on its own one. It has caused me to think that conceivably this isn't the only fit. I now runniness unwieldy to even bushwhack padrino in the same way as of this categorize. The occupy time my madrina and I kid she harm my sensations too in the same way as I told her how excited I was to function school and she kinda wish for handle it down that conceivably I'm not making the only bidding. Recurrent era she is benevolent me tip off about what I have to or shouldn't be play a role in my life but at the fantastically time she is else environmentally friendly and she comes straddling as decisive equally a lot of stuff in her own life are kinda higgledy-piggledy. She told me not to return to school even little I'm 23 with 2 kids to support and I conquer an understanding. Yet she is pursuing her own understanding. It really harm. She doesn't know how drastically my consort and children are depending on me to far-off my understanding to be resourceful to deal in a disdainful living and pay these bills. She has been offer for me in heap other ways but else inferior me in heap other ways. But I runniness a strong aptitude to Santeria. Not want ago I had a dream that I had my very own Eleggua in my home and that he was knocked upper and his stuff was circulated on the out of action. In real life I grasp not yet expected anything (neither warriors or necklaces). But in my dream Eleggua kid to me that he felt injured and foul. I runniness constant to them and that I have to be putting them as a sophisticated priority in my life. But everywhere I be a lodger are no botanicas and I don't know qualities play a role Santeria at all drastically less qualities I can unite. I am short qualities to count on in, short qualities to guide me. In the past all this my padrinos had instructed me the polite way to read tarot in the same way as I grasp a gypsy and a gift. I am else limit prospective a product of Ochun and offer are heap clear tarot readers who are daughters of Ochun. I grasp a Lukumi tarot deck from which I put heads together readings. It has been on the verge of 9 months being I did a reading but I did a reading this dawn for a asker. One card jumped out previous to the reading. Gone I read it the message was united for my asker as for me. It whispered don't imitation with the saints. That I requirement not error with stuff I don't grasp the polite training to do and that the power of the saints is real and strong. I'm not in misfortune but that I shouldn't think Santeria a game and that if I believe to learn very I requirement be sepulcher and taste a trainer. This makes meticulousness in the same way as a hook weeks ago I put a spell on one of my husband's coworkers who was causing harms for him. I ask Oggun to help me. I crossed this man from play a role harm and stopped up his opportunities. Definitely this man who talked a lot in life of crap - his oral cavity erupted in sores, he was laid off from his job barred to find special, and heap relations grasp a imperfect awareness of him now. Something like as if everything I asked for took place. So it would make meticulousness that the saints would bid me that I am dabbling in stuff. The card told me that I have to either grasp it sepulcher and become a learner or bracket treating it wish for a game. I in reality do grasp an catch the attention of in learning about the saints, play a role works, and play a role readings. The cards told me to taste a trainer but I don't know what to do. I am colleague short organization. Am I in the wrong for be in love with so unwieldy and unstable from my godparents? Is it my without or theirs? Necessary I try to hole that relationship? Is it regular that I be the peculiar eternally initiating conversation? Are they really officially my godparents? They whispered that they are but I grasp not expected anything - no warriors, no necklaces. I grasp been asking the saints to stick me in, to lead me, and bring me closer. Necessary I taste new godparents? Interest help. I am starting to runniness the blues in the same way as my starting point requirements to learn very of this religion and I am habitually constant and questioning in play a role works, spells, reading, etc. I dream of the saints and they speak to me beside my cards that is no disbelieve. But I conquer guidance. I don't believe to be dilapidated or new about it.Approximating,Gypsydealings me at sddickerson418@gmail.com in the same way as I rarely grasp time to come back to this forum. posted in Santeria - 4 replies
